Thursday, March 21, 2013

You are like a whisper in the wind, Uncatchable, and gone before You are heard.. There is a bare spot on my heart where you used to live. You are starting to fade from my memory. The sharp ache has turned into a dull rusty throb.

I hide my feelings in a dark secret room, safe from the auspices of others, those who would steal my pain and steal you from my heart. The only way I know I'm alive is when I mourn for you, when I feel your ache rising up my throat to scream. I can't tell you I love you anymore. But I do love you. And if you could just hear me say it to you one more time I could maybe breath again.

Monday, March 18, 2013

Two weeks

It has been two weeks tonight since we parted.  The night is not so gentle with me.  I fear it will suffocate me with memories of you.  Oh, I how I want to be with you.  It's so stormy inside my head, filled with a million voices with words I can confide to no one safely.

No one understands the independent loneliness that generously spreads its way into my leaking bones.  My thoughts are more than I can bear.  If you were here you would be licking the tears off my water-filled eyes and propping your head upon my shoulder to let me know everything would be okay. Now who will kiss my tears away?  And how will anything ever be okay again?

Sunday, March 17, 2013

I can't let go of you or the pain.  I hold on to each hurt to remind me that you once graced my life.
 When my heart breaks and bleeds I remember how much you mean to me and how much I love you. 

Do you think of me wherever you are?  Do you remember how with love I would speak your name, and how we nuzzled our faces against each other just to be close?  I hurt myself everyday so I will never forget.

Today I pet other dogs and thought of you.  They were happy and gave me kisses like you used to do. I am ashamed of myself that they made me smile.

Please let the tears keep flowing.  Please let me keep hurting.  I won't abandon you by being happy.  I will protect each small and large ache and not let anyone talk me out of it.

Since you let go, I'll let go, too.  I don't have far to go now to be gone completely. 

I love you, I love you, I love you.