Friday, September 05, 2008

Unfamiliar territory

It's been a while since we posted. Feels like unfamiliar territory. It's been a while since we did anything. Since February we've been hospitalized. Since April we've been in residential. We got the weight restored on our body; mixed feelings about that. We have finally begun to work on the trauma. It is truly, truly scary, but it is also tolerable. The residential facility I am at now is really good with trauma, eating disorders, and dissociate disorders. I feel fortunate to be here. Tina is still around, cursing people out. Though there are mostly females here, there is one guy, through no fault of his own. :) But he got in our face today and Tina wasn't going to deal with it so she cursed him out. I was afraid she would lay a hand on him but I think she is smarter than that. Tomorrow the treatment center is taking us to Build-A-Bear Workshop where they will pay for us to build our own bear. I'm so excited. I've already decided that we will build an elephant because they are social and maternal creatures. They don't leave their offspring the way B. and D. left us. Left us all the way to fucking China.

Angie and some of the others miss school and feel we've blown our chance. There is a hughe vacuous hole in our cavity that is sucking the life from us. We've really tried hard. Please don't let it be for nothing. We finally felt a kernel of hope. Are we crazy?