Monday, June 14, 2010

Resurfacing

I am now able to breathe again. This past weekend was indescribable, involving all the temper tantrums, self-deprecating thoughts, and histrionics a lapse in recovery can bring. Lying in the abyss of hell, one doesn't feel that life can get better if you just hang on a little longer. Face down in despair, it feels like you will never find the other side of unbearable. I don’t feel the stirrings of hope today or the awakenings of promise, but I do know I’ve felt them before, and if I can keep working my recovery, I’ll feel them again.

I’ll post more soon on my lapse over the weekend, if I can bring myself to own up to things. Until then, I’m still hanging on.

2 comments:

castorgirl said...

Please keep hanging on... Don't lose sight of the possibility of hope and wellness. It may not feel it right now, but you're incredibly strong, so you can work your way out of this.

Sending you positive thoughts.

Take care,
CG

Nikki (Sarah) said...

just found your blog....Hang tight ok...Sarah