Bits from the dark side

Still waiting to get the computer fixed. We borrowed the spouse's computer but don't feel it's safe so this will be a sterile entry.

Still in the partial hospitalization program. Probably will scale back next week. Not doing good with the food. We had a good streak where we were sticking with our meal plan, but not so much now. I don't know the reason for the change. According to the dietician, whom I trust, we are still underweight. We recently went to an event where we saw alot of people we haven't seen in probably a couple of years. Everybody said we looked good. That didn't help us much. If they think we look good then what the hell are we doing eating 100% and ALLOWING ourselves to gain weight? Will somebody save me please?

My head is not right tonight. There is a quiet murmuring that is disconcerting. We are trying to buy clothes that are dresses so we don't have to feel the weight and flesh pressing against jeans or pants. At least with dresses they cover a multitude of fat and flesh. So we were trying to find dresses we all liked. One of our teenagers is very specific and vocal about what she will wear. As a result, we got too many dresses and shoes to go with them. Too much money was spent.

I don't care right now. The urge to binge and purge has been faithfully plaguing me every night, so to shut the noise up we went shopping...again. We had been shopping earlier today and then saw a movie at the dollar theater. Technically, I was supposed to be at the hospital, but I've had a horrendous cold so I stayed home. I'm feeling better. Retail therapy does wonders.

Hopefully tomorrow I get my computer fixed. I didn't realize how much I depeneded on it until it was gone. Life is like that.

Hope the blogging community is well.